they were so lively
gathering whenever
possible to discuss phrases
someone jotted
none considering angst in the sense
of it truly visiting they had so many
epiphanies & the depth of the poets
among them seemed
unmatched they had countless dark
beers to mull through & hikes
up the Sierra they had
to see cougars
sunbathe they had to roast Gary
Snyder's pine nuts
I left them
because I could no longer
afford rent & then
the 2 other forthcoming
novelists received larger advances
than I
but they both quit
to sell health insurance
& the one poet among them who
published found most of his success
in Alaska
the rest of Northern CA's
upstart writers of 1988
must be trying to forget
that stretch of their
now on-track lives
I'm not
necessarily saying I've
outwritten each but I do
remember a discussion
in which a fellowship
holder among us declared
only one of us would
make it & he wondered
whose that fate would be
mine is what I was sure
we all thought
the one distinction among us
being that today
only I care to record
what might be
that fellow's most
inspired moment
